I’m obsessed with having a perfectly smooth forehead
I’m obsessed with having a perfectly smooth forehead. I want it. And when I see the subtlest of lines forming on it I take action immediately. I’ll massage, do some Gua Sha, and tape it overnight with kinesiology tape, then I wake up renewed, smooth, refreshed. And this system works for me (I also have a natural resting b*tch face so that helps).
I even feel like I can BREATHE better when my face is restored after these sessions. Why, though? I don’t know. But I love it. I get a little obsessed with it. And I’m being perfectly honest when I say I haven’t graduated from needing it (not today anyway).
There is something about forehead lines that bother me particularly. Something I haven’t been able to accept. Maybe because they show frustration, anger - emotions women aren’t allowed to have. BUT the same muscle contractions also happen when I’m laughing hysterically or having an orgasm, so…
I see people embracing their lines and I’m like “I love that for you but not for me.” (and botox definitely isn't for me either because it’s temporary, damaging and toxic #sorrynotsorry).
But I can’t sit here and pretend that I’ve evolved into acceptance. I think that’s part of why I’ve been having so much trouble being on social media lately. I don’t know what my “message” is because I’m IN PROGRESS.
It’s like: I love natural beauty practices that work but I’m also trying to understand my intense focus on it, and I care about beauty and skin but I also want to know what my soul is here to actually help you with, and I don’t think it’s giving you “botox alternatives.”
I like smooth, perfect skin. I do what I can to maintain it. But I also am SO bored with sharing techniques on how to do so, and I’m having an identity crisis around it. I’ve even built an incredible resource library called the Inner Beauty Circle that teaches you SO MUCH of how to self-restore: massage, Gua Sha, lymphatic drainage, embodiment practices and even breast work. It’s only $11.11/month btw if you’re interested lol.
All these things are important and I do them myself and I want you to know how to do it, but I have no energy to crank out tutorial reels because I want to get at what’s underneath.
Yesterday I spent a nice long session in my studio giving myself a treatment. I got my forehead pristinely smooth and then did something on my phone for 5 minutes and it was instantly crumpled like a paper bag. And I felt myself getting angry about it.
Why do I need this? Why must I be smooth forever? Why must I be perfect? Why, why why?
Skin-care is self-care and self-care is soul-care and I know that… but perfectionism is poison…
Beauty-care is like the doorway into my work with women. But I’m just struggling to be fluffy even if it is the gateway into something deeper with you.
I find when I'm in a perfectionistic cyclone the only thing that pulls me out is being with other women. And sharing my feelings, and hearing them share.
I am curious if anyone would be interested in a “perfectionists anonymous” kind of facilitated support group where women meet virtually to talk about what’s coming up. Something really simple but potent and uplifting? Where we can contemplate LOVING beauty, and wanting to be beautiful but also creating space to entertain releasing our ties with the perfectionist dragons?
Please please let me know!