What's your splinter? Everything you are is ALL RIGHT...
What's your splinter? The jagged, ever-present painful thought that inflames your mind and keeps you from feeling content and whole…
Image via @_nelly_london
The thing that creeps ups when you’re just going about your day, trying to be good to yourself and live your life just to say “something isn’t right” “this thing SHOULD be different” “you’d be so much more powerful, more beautiful, more loved, more successful, wealthier IF you didn’t make that decision and royally F this or that up”
It’s all lies. I know it’s loud and feels real AF, but it’s not real.
I know it’s hard to really take this in because your mind LOVES to tell you what a f*ck up you are. It wants to keep you safe and accepted by any means necessary, and it doesn’t really care about your happiness. It cares about your basic survival and about you being accepted.
So, try to practice having awareness of this voice. Attempt to slow down and intercept the conversation and be like “okay primitive brain, I hear you, thank you, but I’ve got this...”
~
Last night I was preparing to take a relaxing bath and I started to have all these thoughts come in. I felt like there was a wall between me and experiencing true ease. It was at my fingertips, but I couldn’t quite touch it.
“You’d be able to love and enjoy your body so much more if you hadn’t rejected yourself so much…”
“Wow you would literally be SUCH a goddess and SO much more beautiful if you didn’t have these breast scars, this bit of extra weight… wow can you even imagine?! That COULD have been you if you hadn’t f*cked it all up…”
What? Really? You’re telling me that I don’t get to be fully embodied and enjoy my beauty and beingness? That I don’t deserve to feel completely adored and loved because of this? That I’m somehow wrong and less than for this reason? That I’m missing out on something important?
Sometimes, I really believe this voice… but now I know how to pull myself out...
I now know how to sit and literally pray to the universe to wrap me in all the love that is available and help me pull out these painful thoughts/memories/experiences and shift the energy that’s circulating and perpetuating the thought patterns.
To cradle my teenage and childhood selves and cry together, to listen to her, to empower her…
To realize that beauty goes SO far beyond our physical appearance and that there is SO much richness, realness, and deep color from all these experiences you’ve had and will have in this lifetime.
To tell myself that I literally would not be who I am today if not for all these experiences… and I really love who I am today.
I’m not even going to try to pretend that I’ve mastered this, but I’m committed to practicing it and continuing to remove the sharp pieces that are lodged in so I can soothe and heal the wounds, and hopefully inspire you to as well….
This voice doesn’t go away. But it gets quieter the more you can lovingly shift your attention to REALITY, and power, acceptance, and making the decision that everything you are, is all right.
To feel the feelings, to let yourself sob, to release… and then go and have a delicious snack, call a friend, go out for a hike, clean your kitchen blasting your favorite songs and joke with your man about something ridiculous. Put on bright colors and let yourself vibrate at a higher frequency.
Repeat after me: “everything I am, is ALL RIGHT”
I love you, you beautiful soul!
Xx Krista