Getting honest about the motivation behind "self-care"
I’m coming clean...
I’m a perfectionist. I’m a Virgo sun, Libra rising and Leo moon. I’m wired for beauty and perfectionism. I see every aspect of something that “shouldn’t” be there. I see every detail that’s out of place. I’ve always strived for perfectionism even when dealing with nature… even living things that are innately perfect and uncontrollable… I’ve tried to control.
I was born this way. Designed this way, even as a child. I noticed everything around me that others didn’t. I would be sitting at a table with other four-year-olds who were eating Oreos and they would be chatting and going on and on about something, and I would just observe them and wonder how in the world they had NO idea that their mouths were covered in a nasty halo of black Oreo crumbs…
I always saw things that people didn't. Noticed details that would entirely escape other people, or not even register. My world view can be very narrow at times... especially when I’m out of balance and disconnected from my soul.
My perfectionism and my eye for detail is part of my super-power, but it’s also part of my curse. The double-edged sword. For most of my life I’ve been an artist, working with clay, drawing and painting. My talent would be to create something I was observing into an exact replica, because no detail was too small.
I WISH I could sit here and tell you that I started doing facial Gua Sha, and facial massage for purely noble reasons. Purely for reasons like health, relaxation, self-connection. But that would be a straight-up lie.
I love smooth, clear skin. I love restoring something to its original shape. I love watching tissue drain, clear, illuminate and brighten. I love softening lines and watching vitality flood through skin. I LOVE the healing arts. When I learned that healing creates and sustains beauty - wow - breakthrough.
My soul always knew that touch is healing, and bodywork is deep in my lineage. BUT it was my craving for, and love of beauty and restoration that started the journey… The deeper work came after.
In fact, it was my efforts to erase the scars from my breast surgeries that got me into fascial work. (Update: I haven't erased them, but I also no longer care to try 🙂 they are soft, happy, homeostatic and part of me.)
By grace, this work brought me to those deeper, sustainable, truthful, reasons. Allowing me to soften into aging as a co-creation vs something I need to “prevent” at all costs. It's a practice. Some days it's easier than others.
I’ve let go of trying to iron out every single line (which was SO draining). I started to focus on the experience of beauty and self-care. Seeing it as a divine expression of self-love.
I practice softening my gaze and stepping further back from the mirror and seeing the WHOLE picture vs focusing on that one freaking little broken capillary on my nose that waves hello at me every morning. You know the one, that NO ONE notices BUT ME? The one that takes up space and lives rent free in my head? The one that keeps me small and focused solely on IT vs living a bigger more magnificent life? Yeah that one...
Mostly perfectionism has tortured me because I’ve held myself to an absolutely unrealistic standard (not others - to be fair. I would never inflict this type of torture and high standard onto another person, oh God no, that would be ridiculous!). And as I get older, wiser, and more connected to my true nature, I realize that perfectionism is a trauma response. A safety mechanism. A form of self-protection…. In my mind, if I’m perfect, then that equals love. That equals adoration and respect, that equals approval and ultimately safety.
The golden nugget in here for all of you is: It’s okay to admit where our motivations for self-care come from. Because it's not the whole picture. There are deeper reasons waiting for you inside this work and there are many paths to get here, and rich lessons and realizations for you along the way.
These are the kinds of conversations I want us to have, to begin to contemplate, to dive into and discover. If this rings true for you at all, I invite you to join the Inner Beauty Circle Membership. Where I guide you to co-create the aging journey from a place of reverence, acceptance, exploration and also provide you the tools to slow aging naturally and ignite your skin’s healing potential! We’re on this path together my love.
Our first monthly meetup is tomorrow, Wednesday Feb 1st at 11:30 am EST. Where we’ll connect, drop together and I’ll guide you through activating your hands with your intention and freeing your neck for flow restoration to your facial tissues.
Inside you'll have access to:
Facial Gua Sha ~ For Health & Beauty (course)
The Foundations of Regenerative Self-Care (course)
The Reconnect and Revitalize ~ Facial Massage Workshop
The Breast Embodiment ~ Massage Workshop
The Inner Beauty Circle Community for Support
Live Calls and Classes
There’s literally no risk, if you find it isn’t for you, you can cancel at any time! I couldn’t possibly give you a juicer offer for $11.11/month.
See you inside!
Love, Krista